Sorry You Guys

Okay so this is way overdue. I didn't have very much positivity to post and I didn't want to bring you guys down. I miss you guys. This semester has been horrible. The end. 

Thank God That's Over...Almost

I'm home! It would have been alot more exiting if I hadn't been in Columbus twice during this week already. I needed to make up some yoga classes (I had miscalculated my grade and was not okay with getting a C- in Yoga) and there were no studios in Delaware that would accept drop ins so I got to come all the way up to Columbus twice this week to make them up at Yoga in High. 

So really when I say I'm home I really mean I'm home again. I'm not really finished with my course work either. Because I was going back and forth between Columbus I didn't get a chance to finish one of my finals but the teacher said I could have an extension until Monday.

The Allison's moved out Monday morning while I was asleep and took everything that they helped pay for in the slightest so that when I woke up all of our food was in Amanda's work space (they took the drawers) and the recycling was recycled (finally, the only time they ever helped with dorm chore),(they took the bins).  They left between 10 and 12. The reason I was asleep was because Amanda needed a ride to the airport. She did all she could to find a ride. The school shuttle didn't start making trips until the day after. She had asked Allison (who has a car) if she could take her but she refused to wake up before 8 o'clock (which was the time Amanda needed to be at the airport). So I (who at the time was still in Columbus from making up a Yoga class the night before) had to wake up at 5:30am so that I could get ready to go back to Delaware by 7:00 so that me, my dad (who works at night) and Amanda could go to the airport, drop Amanda (who was really grateful) off for her flight home, then drive back to Delaware to drop me off, then my dad got to drive back to Columbus and finally go to sleep. All because Allison didn't want to wake up before 8 o'clock. I didn't get to sleep until 2:00 the night before so I was wiped out by the time I got back to my dorm and didn't wake up until 4 in the afternoon, missing my conference with my English teacher. I hope that doesn't really screw up my grade.  

Then later that afternoon Romatu and Marquita moved in so I barely got any studying in. As of right now I'm so close to finishing with my first semester of classes. I can't wait until the next 3 weeks when I have no classes to be to or assignments to turn in. It's going to be great! Anyway I have to work on my last assignment so I'll leave you at that. 

PS I can't wait to hang out with you guys!

Blau...

So... This week is finals week and as the weekend progresses I'm becoming more and more stressed out. But still I'm not nearly as on edge as everyone else. My roommates the Allison's are moving out and transferring to different schools. Thankfully Amanda (my other roommate) found replacements and these two really cool girls Romatu and Marquita are moving in Wednesday. I'm excited! Nevertheless I can't wait to get back to Columbus. I'm counting down the days! I really want to go to New York for Christmas but that is looking less and less likely. I have to learn to manage my time better. Last break I wasted the whole week and literally did nothing. I slept and slept and slept for pretty much the whole week so not only didn't I finish any of my homework but I didn't even see anyone. It sucked. I guess it's a little harder to sleep for three weeks. I really have to work on my french for next semesters class (which I'm really nervous about) and learn how to drive. Incase anybody says otherwise Delaware sucks balls, especially when you have no car to visit other places. So yes I have to take my finals before going on break but faced with the alternative (not having a break) I'd gladly write papers and take tests.

We need to hang out (for realz). This is getting a little ridiculous. Where do you guys live? (I know that Harmony lives in Dublin and Rachel lives somewhere far out and I have no idea where Allison lives...). In case you guys didn't know I live in downtown Columbus... 

(I just reread this post and realized that it's all over the map but my brain's scattered right now and has been for the past week so please forgive me).

Jordan Rambles about leaves and other things

I love leaves. I always feel inclined to pick up really beautifully colored ones from the ground, or the tree and press them in a book. But then I remember that if I press them they'll turn brown and loose their beauty even quicker than if I left then where they are. I guess you can't save everything. Even polaroids, they fade with time and even before they fade they're nothing but a cheap imitation of what was. The colors are less vibrant and the lines begin to blur. A picture has limitations. A picture can't catch the crisp morning air or the pale autumn sun or the smell of dewey grass or the weight of your backpack as you stare at the trees nor the feeling that people are staring at you staring at leaves. I'm in the reminiscent mood because this (I'm guessing music) student is playing a reflective tune on the piano behind me. You know the kind, "Casablanca...ish". And I'm reading "Song of Solomon" for class. I love this book but it skips seemingly huge spans of the characters lives from chapter to chapter. In chapter 3 the protagonist is 22 and the next chapter he's 31. It's as if the chunks of time between the chapters don't matter, or that it goes so quickly that it's not worth mentioning. I've come to realize that I've wasted my teen years. I didn't party, nor did I have nearly as much fun as I should have had. I only had one opportunity to have experienced teendom and I unknowingly threw it away. I'm trying not to do the same with my college years but I don;t really know how not to, almost everyone here annoys me in some way or I don't think I could really relate to them. If it doesn't work out I'm going to devote my time to my studies so that I can say "Well I didn't have many friends but I got the most academically from my college experience." Then I could at least have fun with trips and scholarships and things of the like, eventually getting a free ride to NYU Graduate School and working at a non- profit in some exotic land.

Hello Again

As promised I am blogging again. Things have kind of fallen a little off track since the last time I posted. I'm dropping a class, which sucks. I have to kick ass this next quarter to get good grades. I don't really like it here but I'm getting used to it. This break was nice and relaxing. The drive back to Columbus was beautiful, we took the scenic route. The leaves are changing. I love the fall. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to major in. I'm going to try to take a couple psychology and political science course to see if that might guide me in a definitive direction. I feel really restless in this town. I really need to get my drivers license and a car. I need to get out of here. If I had a car during the breaks I'd take trips all over the place and on the weekend I'd go hang out in Yellowsprings or Columbus or Pittsburgh or someplace anyplace but here. I want to be a drifter. I want to get my degrees in whatever I decide to major in in college, then bum around for a couple of years...or forever. 

I really miss people. I miss Harmony for always puting a positive spin on things, I miss Allison for indulging my dark side, I miss Rachel for always seeing the beauty in things, I miss Maria for always being so energetic, I miss Leslie for being Leslie, I even miss Noah for being such a douche bag sometimes but also for being such a challenging person. I miss alot of people. I often find myself missing people I spoke to once or twice. I miss the possibility of developing relationships with people in our Senior Class. Now they're all scattered to the winds and I'm probably never going to see them again but I could always hope, and hope that the next time I see them I'd have the courage to look them in the eye and really talk to them. I've been lucky enough in my years at the Graham School to have been exposed to some really wonderful people with beautiful souls and personalities (sorry but thats the only way I can explain it). I hope I don't run into them years from now and find them changed. 

Movie High

These past two days have been really good. Friday (after classes) was good. Saturday was good. Now I have to pay for my two good days with alot of cracking down on homework before Monday. I have so much to do tomorrow. I think if I plan it out and stick to a strict schedule then it will be alright, if not... 

This past week hasn't been that great. I don't feel as though I'm contributing to my classes at all. This next week I want to feel as though I'm part of the class and not a spectator. This next week will be my first full week of classes and work (Work Study). I need to get myself into a rhythm. I've been skipping lunch. I should stop doing that. 

Today was great but miles less productive than it should have been. I spoke to some relatives, I napped. I went into town and spent some money thrift shopping (which was great!) Sara came down from Columbus and we (and Eva) had dinner at Vaqueros, then I watched Oldboy with Morgan and Eva (which was amazing) and now I'm back in my dorm in the ultra revitalized state that movie watching leaves you in.  I think I'm going to do some small tasks before going to sleep...eventually. 

Until next time...

Sometimes I'm glad I don't have a boyfriend

It seems as though what my roomies have problems with isn't their homework but boys. I never having had a boyfriend find it hard to relate to them sometimes (them being my roomies). Take Amanda for instance. She's from Baltimore and was finally developing her long time crush into a relationship when she had to come to Delaware for college. Now her "kind of boyfriend" is falling for (or back on) some other girl and although she puts on a brave face in our dorm she leaves the room alot to talk to her friends in Baltimore, guess what about. I want to be a supportive friend but at the same time I'm thinking, "What did you think was going to happen? Did you think he was going to wait for you? Long distance relationships rarely work out (or so I'm told)". I know not to say this so I keep quiet which I think maybe worst than saying my mind. 

Ali on the other hand found a guy at Ohio Wesleyan (good start right?). Well, the downside is that he's 23 and has a girlfriend that it doesn't look like he's going to leave despite his advances towards Ali. She's kind of breaking down. Everytime she is on the computer (on facebook or myspace) or on the phone (texting) she's stressed out and pink with emotions. She's such a great person. I want to tell her to stop talking to him and break it off. He's not as into you as he says he is. I want to beat the shit out of him for messing round with her.  She deserves much more than a 23 year old second time freshman. 

I want to help them but I don't know how to. There's only so much listening can do, and all my advice is ill informed. Maybe in the next couple of weeks this will all be worked out and they'll be happy. Maybe I'll (in some small part) be a facilitator for that happiness. We'll see. 

Until next time...